We can point them out in every room; those individuals that seem to have it all. Poise, charm, confidence, and the savoire-faire that makes them a magnet to all in the room; they sort of have this “magic” about them don’t they?
Ah yes, the art poise and charm, two great qualities that we would love to have attributed to ourselves by others, n’est-ce pas?
Fret not my dear, I am going to walk you through a few tips so you too can “charm your way through life” as they say. From here on out you can just call me your Fairy CharmMother.
Or don’t. Because that is kind of weird, I know.
Poise and Charm. I’ll have you know, these traits come from neither beauty or money, nor a combination of the two; they are simply the result of cultivated etiquette.
Cultivated Etiquette, a series of habits and tricks that have been cultivated by an individual seeking a higher ideal for themselves in everyday living.
These habits can also be adopted into your life, not without challenge at first, but nonetheless are attainable.
So what qualities can we attribute to someone possesses this sense of cultivated etiquette? Let’s start with what people notice first: When you walk into a room, its your appearance that tells “the world who you are without saying a word”, as Rachel Zoe says. So a good appearance is an important factor to consider when talking about charm. The way you look has so much influence on the way you feel and on the way other people feel about you. When you know you look good, you feel better about yourself and when you feel better about yourself you carry yourself better, and when you carry yourself better others can sense in you an elusive sense of poise and charm.
Poise is simply a state of mind that comes as a result of confidence in the way you look; and charm is the ability to make others around you feel comfortable with you. That means being able to forget yourself so you can put the other person at ease. I don’t know single person who can do this successfully if they are worried about the way they look.
Now, a good appearance isn’t just hairstyles, clothes, shoes, or makeup. These are all important, but think of them as the icing on the cake. The icing can be very beautiful and delicious…but if the cake itself isn’t good, we quickly disregard the icing.
Good health, cleanliness, posture, and good manners are the foundations of a good appearance. Being well dressed and well spoken come in after that.
1.Good health – Make sure your diet and exercise regimen are in order. Find an exercise program that you enjoy. Find a diet that fits the needs of your body. There are countless resources on the internet that provide this information for free. If you can’t find something on Google, Youtube, or in one of the many social media platforms… Consult a professional. Also, get enough sleep: There’s a lot of sense in that old saying “beauty sleep”. A good night’s rest is essential to good health. True, all of our bodies are different and require different amounts of it, but I’ve seen many beautiful complexions lost in not getting the appropriate amount of sleep.
2. Cleanliness- This is very simple stuff: Bathe daily. Take care of your teeth. Have a nightly cleansing routine. Wear deodorant. Wear a signature fragrance.
3. Posture- Carry yourself well: whether you’re sitting, standing, or walking. Do as Oscar De La Renta suggests: “Walk like you have three men walking behind you.” Fellas, the same goes for you, but with the idea that it is three women are walking behind you. If you have three attractive people behind you….How would you sit? How would you walk? How would stand? Shoulders slumped? Dragging feet? I think not. Posture is a very easy thing to fix, just be mindful of it.
4. Good manners: This is more than just “please and thank you”, although those two go a very long way. This also means remembering to call people by their name, opening doors for others (ladies this means you too!), listening not just hearing, smiling, and engaging fully.
That is the cake. Now the icing:
1.Being well dressed: I will cover this one fully on another post. However, the basics of being well dressed consist of: dressing for your body type, ignoring fads, and taking care of what you own. It’s distasteful to wear clothing that is too loose or too tight. Also, avoid wearing anything that’s faded and worn; or anything that contains stains and holes. Know which colors compliment your skin tone best and if need be, get your favorite pieces tailored. Your hair should always look well kept.
2.Being well spoken: Along with everything I mentioned in having good manners, being well spoken is about being able to articulate ideas well, so you can keep a conversation going. Ask questions that engage others. Don’t use profanity. Give compliments freely…and sincerely. Learn when you can let loose and be silly… but also know when to be silent. If you really want to get fancy, talk current affairs… and add another language to your vocabulary- learning another language is guaranteed to help you improve your own.
So there you have it. Your Fairy CharmMother’s little tips and tricks that will help you add charm and poise into your life. Have a charming day, my dear!
Xo,
Your FCM
(I needed to fully milk this name for the entirety of this post. FairyCharmMotherOut)